Thursday, 24 July 2014

Reluctant no longer

Hello my beautiful vaginistas,

Has it really been 2 years since my last post? It hardly seems like it can be true, but here we are, talking from *the future* where my vagina continues to more or less behave itself, and my dire predictions of a dystopian future sans the NHS are looking worryingly more possible by the day. Oh yey, and Oh dear respectively.

I could give you an update on the ins and outs of my vagina (snarf), but I shall not. I know, you are bereft. Que triste. I've logged on instead to say that I am simultaneously moved, delighted, frustrated, excited and so SORRY at the amount of emails I have received since I last posted. I am disgusted with myself to have to report that I've only just checked them tonight and I am really so sorry to all of the beautiful and brave women (gah, that sounds so patronising doesn't it? Sorry, it's the emotion of the reluctant vaginal warrior, and I truly mean it, like a slightly saucy aunt after one too many gins) who contacted me and who I have so callously not replied to. It was not deliberate; somehow I looked up from my knitting and all this time had gone and I had forgotten to log on.

SORRY. I am an awful idiot.

It has made me consider however. As wonderful as it has been to receive all these emails from women saying how they are relieved to find out that they are not alone in battling the big snarly vaginismus, it's just NOT ON. Not getting the emails, I mean the fact that any of us should feel so alone in the first place. You know how you can step on a tube and there will be an advert for treatments of erectile disfunction? You know how "viagra" is a household name? Well, were are the adverts for treatment of the reluctant frou and all her whims? Why are women telling me that they are still talking to Doctors who apparently haven't heard about vaginismus? WHY WHY WHY?

It has to end. And we must be the ones to do something about it. I don't know anything about how to start an awareness raising campaign but by the deuces I feel like it's something that has to happen. This isn't our fault, and not talking about it certainly isn't going to help any women battling with it now or in the future feel any less alone and ashamed and confused as I was before I knew what it was all about.

So who is with me? Are any of you still there? Can you forgive me? Can we be strident together? I hope the answers to all of these are "yes, we're all in this together!"