Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Under the bridge

Hello vaginistas!

Thanks to the persistance of my new resident troll and his - ahem - "enlightened" ideas, I thought I would start a new section of the blog, entitled HILARIOUSLY "Under the Bridge". This is going to be a place where I try and unpick common misconceptions about vaginismus, perhaps as highlighted by Mr Troll, or perhaps just from my own experience. It'd also be great for people to contribute their own, this could be nonsense that they have encountered from other people, or perhaps even ideas that they had themselves, which they now know to be untrue.

Lets start with Maypaki's most recent comment. Just a quick disclaimer, I'm not going to focus on any of the religious ideas he is trying to put across because there are so many wonderful theologians out there who are doing it in their own work. If you are interested in theology, feminism and sexuality and so on, you could do a lot worse than to start with Dr Susannah Cornwall http://susannahcornwall.blogspot.com/ a supremely intelligent woman with very lovely hair (as you'll see on her blog). Secondly, this is a personal blog and so everything I write here is from my personal perspective. Please join in using the comments box.

Now that's out the way, here is what Trolly McTrollsons wrote recently:

"I just had a THEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY: God is indeed a MALE. The reasons are: 1.) If God is a female, she would never inflict women with painful intercourse. She would merely inflict them with infertility. Her empathy towards women's feelings will always prevail. 2.) It is known in history that men treat women as property. Therefore, if God inflicts a woman with primary vaginismus, thick hymen or dry vagina, then her vagina is now the property of God. She's meant to control the population. God uses her as an instrument to reveal who the real rapists are, thereby upholding women's most divine right -the right NOT to be raped. This proves that God is a male, because for him, there are things more important than empathy towards females. This explains why painful intercourse is MORE COMMON among females than males.Because God is a MALE and treats some women as his property to control the population. I am now an enlightened man. If vaginismus is one of God's test to humanity, then it seems to violate his own commandment (to be fruitful and multiply). God seems to contradict himself. Claiming that it is a test makes God so unreasonable. So there are 3 possible rational conclusions: 1.) God is omnipotent, therefore Vaginismus is God's will. It's Gods natural birth control -if you believe that there's a reason for everything. 2.) Vaginismus in NOT God's will, therefore God in not omnipotent. He cannot prevent vaginismus. 3.) There is no God. Sometimes, things happen randomly and for no apparent reason -if this is your position, then I rest my case. P.S. My e-mail address is maypakialam@gmail.com"

All completely sane and reasonable, I'm sure you'll agree. Once we have all stopped grinding our teeth, there are a few points here that are actually quite common misconceptions about vaginismus which it would be good to iron out. You know, so we can let him get back to the more important task of ranting.

1. Women who have vaginismus cannot give birth - Not true (On a side note - Maypaki's idea that it is "kinder" for women to be infertile than to have a very treatable condition preventing penetrative sex only - BIZARRE). My therapist very kindly explained this to me in a session. She was trying to change my perception of sex (it bloody well hurts!) by telling me all about childbirth -

Her, enthusiastically and using her fist as a sort of model vagina - "It's designed so a baby's head can go through! Like THIS! *expands fingers* A whole baby's head, which is so much bigger than a penis!"

Me - "If you need me I'll be in the foetal position, hyperventilating, in the corner"

Any woman who has ever gone into labour will tell you - gleefully and with the quite justifiable elation of someone who has not only survived the battle of trafalgar, but made off with Napoleon's eagle to boot -  that nature takes over and the contractions that come are far beyond your control. Yes, this is similar to vaginismus in a way, but also very different. While a woman with vaginismus may not be able to conceive through penetration, there is no reason for vaginismus to prevent her giving birth.  As my lovely therapist said, beautifully succinctly: "Vaginismus is all about preventing entry. Giving birth is allowing exit." For a full and proper medical account, please go to Vaginismus.com

2. Women with vaginismus cannot be raped. 

Ladies, I bet you didn't even know that we are SUPERHEROES, with our magic clampy vag muscles, sent to HUNT OUT THE RAPISTS and BLOCK THEIR COCKS RIGHT OFF! Cape me the hell up, for I am VAG HAG!

Er....No. Vaginismus does not prevent rape. The pain of the muscle spasms and the difficulty/impossibility of penetration can actually often be a result of the agony and trauma of rape however. The World Bank report on Gender and Equality 2012 which everyone should read, says that:

"Physical, sexual, and psychological violence against women is endemic across the world. A flagrant violation of basic human rights and fundamental freedoms, violence can take many forms. International statistics are not always comparable, yet incontrovertible evidence shows that violence against women is a global concern." World Bank Report on Gender and Equality Chapter 2 page 83.

There is a chart (which unfortunately I am unable to post here but can be seen on the above link) which sets out different justifications for women being beaten by their husbands in different nations: "Burns food", "argues with husband" and "refuses to have sex". The marks along the chart show the percentage of respondents from each country who have agreed to each of the reasons. In guinea 65% agreed that a beating was justified to a woman who refused sex. In Lesotho, 40% agreed it was acceptable if there had been an argument. It is only when you scroll to the very bottom of the chart that you realise it is the women themselves who are giving these responses.

What is the point I am making here? Violence against women, in many different forms, is a huge and universal problem and unhelpful and incorrect ideas such as "Vaginismus prevents rape" will do nothing to help reverse and change this pattern. The idea of blame and personal fault is so engrained upon the female psyche, in terms of sexuality, as well as so many different ways, that we need to be doing our damndest to stop this. Do read the report.

Finally, he's kindly left his email address. Do send him some love.

From Keeks




    I am a man who believes in WOMEN'S RIGHTS. Without women's rights, women would still be treated as baby factories instead of human beings with choices.

    If a woman has a right to refuse sex, then so does her VAGINA. She should respect her VAGINAL RIGHTS. They are:

    1.) Vagina's right to refuse sex.

    2.) Vagina's right to self-pleasure

    3.) Vagina's right to self-lubricate.

    If a woman has Primary Vaginismus, it means her VAGINA is refusing sex. Penetrating a dry,unaroused and unwilling vagina is RAPE, especially if she is dumb about her vagina. Her vagina is not consenting to any man. It's God's form of BIRTH CONTROL.


    Most humans learn how to masturbate. Masturbation teaches them to be sexually self-aware. But some, particularly women, have limited or no masturbation skills and end up having Vaginismus, dry vagina or thick hymen. Because God forbids them to learn about sex to control the population. Some women do not own their bodies because God owns them.

    If she doesn't know how to use her vagina, then God owns her vagina for population control.
    Intercourse is not for her.


    We are free to do what is right and what is wrong. It is called FREE WILL.

    Yes, Vaginismus is treatable just like being a "non-virgin" is treatable through HYMEN RECONSTRUCTION SURGERY -a barbaric practice because of peoples' misconception about the hymen.

    It is treatable just like female masturbation is treatable through female circumcision.

    Hymen reconstruction surgery is WRONG. But God allowed it to happen.

    Female Circumcision is WRONG. But God allowed it to happen.

    Female Masturbation is a NATURAL URGE, but some people want to get rid of it.

    Having a BROKEN hymen before sex is a NATURAL occurrence, but some people want to surgically reconstruct it.

    Well...the same thing can be said about trying to cure Primary Vaginismus.

    Primary Vaginismus is a NATURAL REFLEX against harm. God does not want her NUN'S VAGINA to be violated.
    It is a natural reflex just like the eyelids quickly shuts to protect the eye when an object is about to prod towards it. It may also be the fear of sex. God inflicted her with fear to prevent her from having an intercourse.

    Female Masturbation, Having a Broken Hymen before sex and Primary Vaginismus are all NATURAL.
    They are NOT deadly and they do not disable or impair other human physical activities.

    A woman can still live without intercourse.

    C.) GOD

    Vaginismus may be the strongest evidence that God exist. Some higher power can manipulate a woman's body for population control.

    P.S. My e-mail is maypakialam@gmail.com.


    1.) Primary - oops! She has a nun's vagina. Penetrating a dry, unaroused and unwilling vagina is rape.

    2.) Secondary - happens after pregnancy or menopause. It means God doesn't want you to make more babies. A natural birth control.

  2. Trying to have intercourse with a woman who has vaginismus is a violation of her VAGINAL RIGHTS.


    God owns your vagina for population control and should not be touched by any man. Please respect your vaginal rights.

    I am a man of faith & reason.

    P.S. My e-mail address is maypakialam@gmail.com

  3. Maypaki

    You strange and deluded little man. why don't you go write your own blog on how you can stick your cock up your own arse and let people with problems have somewhere they can go to feel like their not alone and know others are going through the same things as them.

    Yours sincerely god.

    Keep the blogs coming Keeks and ignore the weirdos.

  4. Eli Jones,

    There's nothing heroic about calling yourself a "god".
    It's just BLASPHEMY.


    INTERCOURSE IS NOT FOR YOU. Just follow your destiny: nunnery or celibacy.
    God owns your vagina. Please respect your vaginal rights.

    P.S. My e-mail address is maypakialam@gmail.com

  5. Maypaki

    Well next time you and god are having a discussion about vaginas please give my sincere Apology. Now put your cock back up your arse and get back under that bridge of yours and maybe write on a blog where people give a shit about what you have to say!
    Maybe you should try this website:- www.I_am_a_wanker.com

  6. "www.I_am_a_wanker.com"

    Sorry. SERVER NOT FOUND. That website does not exist.


    There was one episode on the Tyra Banks show, May 19, 2009. A woman named Kelsie had level 4 Primary Vaginismus. Yet she got pregnant.

    How did she get pregnant? Here’s how it went:
    She said she was under heavy medication while her husband had “sex” with her. She said her mind was OUT OF IT when the intercourse happened.

    Therefore, their baby is a product of RAPE. I am a man but I think it is almost criminal and immoral to completely disregard a woman’s feelings (or lack of it) during intercourse.

    Penetrating a dry, unaroused and unwilling vagina is RAPE, especially if she is dumb about her vagina.

    If a woman stills tries to FORCE HERSELF to do it despite the pain, she has no self respect, no self esteem. Because to her, sex is just an CHORE and not an expression of MUTUAL affection/pleasure.
    Sex involves mutual affection/consent. It should please both of them. A woman should be begging for it.

    Masturbation (both clitoral and vaginal) is important for women because it teaches them how to use their vagina and enhance their cravings for sex.

    If a woman is IGNORANT about her own sex organ, then God has the power to manipulate her body for the purpose of birth control.
    What's the purpose of having a vagina if she doesn't know how to use it?
    Either her masturbation skills are limited or just lacking.

    Please watch that Tyra Banks episode (May 19, 2009) on Youtube:

    To watch PART 1 of that episode, go to

  7. Where oh where oh where to begin?!

    I'll ask a question, just to be clear:
    I have vaginismus, and my friend doesn't. Both of us have been raped. Which rape does God approve of?

  8. By the way, Vaginismus prevents VAGINAL BIRTH. Most vaginismic women give birth thru C-section.

  9. Keeks has already dispelled this myth, Maypaki.

  10. If Vaginismus can inflict both rape and non-rape victims, then rape is not the main cause of Vaginismus.

    God inflicts some women with vaginismus, regardless if they've been raped or not.

    Like I said before, God is not always concerned of women's feelings. That's because God is a MALE. He treats SOME women as his property to control the population by inflicting them with Vaginismus, thick hymen and dry vaginas.

    If God is a woman, then these vaginal conditions would NEVER exist.

    I'm not here to insult people. I'm here to enlighten them.

    When I was a young college boy, I doubted the existence of God. But after I discovered Vaginismus, it helped STRENGTHEN my faith in God. Finally, there is an evidence of such divine intervention...and that God is indeed a MALE.

    Keeks, your tweet said:
    "My troll has gone very quiet. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed." -Jan. 23, 2012

    What do you mean by that?

    P.S. My e-mail address is maypakialam@gmail.com

  11. If you disagree, then prove me that God is a FEMALE.

  12. This is not a blog about God, it is my personal blog about a condition I am overcoming.

    I have absolutely no interest talking to you further except to say that the message preached consistently and only by Jesus was of freedom, love and healing, I recommend you revisit the gospels.

    Any and all future comments by you will be deleted.